Anyone with an ounce of social media experience knows that the majority of pictures taken these days is a selfie. Whether it is for FB, Twitter, or the grand Instagram, people take more selfies these days than they do of real things happening…like, away from their face.
Selfies. They are everywhere. Celebrities do it, you do it, and even your dog is getting into the phenomena of selfies. Using your phone to share not only what you are doing but to insert yourself into the action is a very common thing to do these days. Now, instead of just sharing a picture of something you see, your phone gives you the ability to put yourself in there to make that picture more important.
If you’re anything like me, you’re starting to get over half of the selfies you see, whether you keep double tapping them on IG or not.
Not only is the normal selfie annoying, but let me touch on the gym selfie. This has got to be the far most annoying, idiotic selfie ever. I mean seriously, go workout. Don’t take a photo.
A person who constantly brags about fitness tend to be fuelled by narcissism – a psychological problem where people gain pleasure from admiring themselves. Which then translates into annoying “sun’s out, guns out” kind of posts all over your timeline, in a hope for likes and comments to boost the ego.
Get ready, because here are the top gym selfies that piss me off the most.
Oh My Goodness. Over it, we all need to be over it. Yes, it is so adorable when you and your boyfriend workout together. It is also very adorable when you guys use each other as weights while the other does abs/pull ups. You know what I don’t need on my newsfeed though, you two constantly kissing all over the gym with #CouplesWhoWorkoutTogether yada yada yada. You know what screams Fit Couple more than your hearts and hash tags? A couple where the woman looks like she can bench the man, and a man who looks like he could murder any chump that gets near his woman. Take a picture of that scenario and you can hash tag your little heart away.
I know that you won’t look like you’ve gained a ton of muscle in a week’s time, but for heaven sakes, when you post a selfie and call it a progress pic, please let there be something different! If I have to play “Spot the Difference” with your pic, it doesn’t qualify as a progress pic. End of story. You may feel different after a week or two of working out, but unless you’ve had a boob job in the past couple days, I’m not going to notice much. You shouldn’t take progress pics constantly, not just so I don’t have to look at them, but also so you don’t feel like you’re always staying the same.
Standing on the track…just…standing there. Yep, when you say it out loud, it sounds about as stupid as it looks. I don’t know if this is the new form of “checking in” where you post a picture of yourself literally just standing in the gym, but it has got to stop. Unless your gym is full of hot, half naked Ryan Gosling look-a-likes, posting a picture of you standing in a gym, does nothing for me.
If you’re experimenting with the newest Crossfit-meets-P90X-meets-Zumba workout, that’s fine, but don’t take a selfie until you’re finished. Gym selfies should be done while curling, benching, or doing cable workouts: vanity workouts only, people. Even if you have to pretend to curl or bench for your selfie, the results will be worth the acting job. Honestly, I’m going to be more freaked out with the new exercise trend you are trying than being proud that you made it to the gym today. Basically, I won’t double tap your photo if you look like a circus animal above.
Here’s yet another fine line you’ll have to walk when taking that gym selfie. It’s important that it looks like the workout is hard, but that it isn’t hard for you to do. In the picture above, this workout looks pretty damn aggressive. Pro Tip: you may want to consider dropping a few pounds off of your normal workout when taking a selfie. It needs to look like you’re making your workout your bitch, not the other way around.
If you still refuse to stop taking these annoying selfies, at least follow these tips to capturing your perfect gym selfie.
Focus on Lighting!
Natural lighting may be great when taking headshot selfies. This isn’t the case when taking selfies of your body at the gym. Natural light doesn’t hide anything, that’s why I recommend looking for artificial light that’s coming from above and in the corners. Artificial light creates angles on your body, making you look hot and chiseled.
Pick the Best Filter
Want to really display your six pack? Well, thank goodness filters exist. If you absolutely have to give into your selfie addiction, then listen closely. They’ll help emphasize the best features of your body. Some gyms have odd color schemes, making them unappealing to snap a selfie. Black and white filters can completely fix that issue, and they’ll add more of a dramatic effect.
Hopefully, you did not take any of that advice, because you should leave your camera at home when working on your gains.
On the flip side, if you find yourself hating how great someone’s perky butt looks in her gym shorts that are basically bikini bottoms, you can always unfollow her, and anyone else who makes you feel discouraged instead of inspired.
This means that my friend whose gorgeous #AsSeenOnMyRun shots force me to lace up my sneakers can stay. But my ex-BFF who posts “delicious cookie-dough bites” Not so much.
Up Next: How to take a great selfie